10 Things I Learnt From… Spice World

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“They don’t just sing!” Apparently.

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Geri, as Maleficent, ponders life’s big questions.

Let’s get one thing straight: Spice World is a masterpiece. If you were a little girl (or little gay) in the 90’s, you loved the Spice Girls. If you try and claim you weren’t attracted to their garish dress sense, Quality Street-esque ‘there’s one for everyone’ personalities, insanely catchy pop music and even more insanely high shoes, you’re a damn liar and I have no time for you. I could literally talk all day about how the Spice Girls shaped my childhood. How they were my first obsession, how I realised I didn’t fancy any of them, and instead, wanted to be like them. And how, as a young, seven or eight year old boy, there was an acceptable level to which one was allowed to like the Spice Girls. You could own a CD but not the dolls. You could watch them on Top of the Pops but not record it for posterity and destroy the tape due to frequent rewinding. You could talk about them in the playground in-between bouts of Pokemon but certainly not dream to own six versions of the VHS of the movie, one for each alternative cover they released. And so we begin, friends, at that moment of peak ‘Spice’. Post-global domination, pre-Geri collectively breaking the hearts of the world. A time when someone thought to themselves, these girls can carry a movie (spoiler klaxon: they struggle) and ultimately, creating a film that was pretty much the death knell for music phenomena releasing anything other than a tour movie. 1 hour and 32 minutes of cinematic platinum that made me feel like that same screaming little boy who longed for a pair of platform shoes as well as my Adidas tracksuit. Collected here, the ten valuable lessons I learnt from Spice World.

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10 Things I Learnt from… Clueless

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So OK, you’re probably going, “Is this another nostalgia-ridden Clueless appreciation blog written by a 80s-born twentysomething who acts like the movie is the be all and end all of modern cinema?” Yes, it totally is, and yes, the movie totally is. I think every adolescent of a certain age has that one teen-based movie that they first watched when they were way too young to get half the jokes and that you continue to cling to for the rest of your days: a never-ending symbol of their formative youth. That movie that reminds them of being a kid. That movie that you enjoy just as much the 80th time as you did that first. That movie that you watch in bed when you’ve been struck by a debilitating case of man-flu and literally nothing else will do. That movie that you’re fairly certain you’d be capable of performing in a one-person-show adaptation in front of an audience of tens. For those of a certain age, my generation, Clueless is that movie. And If Clueless isn’t that movie, and you’re coming to me with claims that you prefer ‘A Walk To Remember, got your life to ‘Save the Last Dance’ or unleashed your inner-queen every time a bitchy line was uttered in ‘Jawbreaker’, then you can take several seats because I won’t hear of it. Not only does Clueless remind me fondly of the summer evening I first watched it on TV after boking my stomach contents up from drinking too much Coke and medicating myself by drinking flat Coke, it really was my first exposure into anything outside the mind-boggling complexity of Power Rangers. Sex? Gay people? HAITIANS? Just what was this new universe I was being exposed to and why is it so incredible? Can I grow up to be everything that Cher Horowitz, my eternal icon, is? There is absolutely no doubt of the far-reaching moral, intellectual and deeply educational effects this movie had on what was my then-eight-year-old-mind. So without further ado, here is the 10 things I learnt from Clueless.

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Sabrina 1.01 – ‘Pilot’ review

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1996 was a formative year in my life. The Spice Girls awakened my inner-homosexual pop stanning heart, I nearly broke my leg emulating Kimberly from Power Rangers and a little show called ‘Sabrina the Teenage Witch’ became my daily obsession. And when I say obsession, I mean it. Books, games, episode after episode watched and rewatched. Had Nickeloden not had a freephone number, I’m certain I’d have raised significant phone debt voting for Sabrina during each and every ‘Watch Your Own Wednesday’ segment. So in its twentieth year anniversary, I’m undertaking a great rewatch. One that shall either make me relish nostalgic memories of my childhood, or indeed, make me wonder what the hell I was thinking. Let us begin with ‘Pilot’.

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